Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
