Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
