hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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