smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
