I think I won the penis lottery.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Don't EVER smell your tampon
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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