How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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