This dress was meant to end up on your floor
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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