Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
