why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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