He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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