For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
