I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Randomize
