I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
