Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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