WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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