He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
