This girl is more easily done than said...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
