ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
