I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
A+ Viking dick
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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