he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
