Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
