the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize
