You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Acid is not a monday night drug
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
