My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
