i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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