My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
