He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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