I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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