i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
