He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize