Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
