she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We have started to decorate penises.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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