Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
