You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
this hospital has no fireball
sex in a hospital.. check
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
