This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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