Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
