next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
