i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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