that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
