i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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