Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
