and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
they're like a gay fantastic four
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
