i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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