As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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