When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
