scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
