yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
