The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
