the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
