Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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