I showed him my bush... on skype.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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