Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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