I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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