So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
