She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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