Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
