So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
