Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
