your parents love me but you hate me
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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