I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
