my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
