I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
In other news, I just burned my penis
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
