Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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