The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
