oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
