Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize