A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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