And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
