I just made out with a guy for $7.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
